a colored spectrum

comparatively

why people like to come with with a list of qualities for the partenrs they seek?
they can be 16 or 26 for that matter. age doesn't apply here. men and women alike.
look at people around you! friends, hall mates, class mates... whatever mates you have.

this may be my personal bias, but the more educated and more popular the person is; or imagine themselves to be educated and popular(which are the most likely cases)... they are likely to be those with unrealistic expectations, unattainable by any mortal. and did i mention that i can't stand women who date guys 10 years their junior? or men who date women 10 years their senior? or men who date women 20 years their junior? such incestry...

if it was a HIM composing this list, it would be:

1. she just be highly educated, poised and sophisticated.
2. she must be pretty, fair skinned with good complexions.
3. i like her to be independent but still need me.
4. she must be sporty or sweet/demure or
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if is a SHE composing this list. it would be:

1. he must be rich. cash rich, card rich.
2. he mustr be a professional. doctors, pilots and lawyers are preferred.
3. he must drive a at max 2 year old car. and pick me up / ferry me whenever i call.
4. he must give in to my whims but is manly. his own man!
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if such a list exist, and if you really meet such a person who fulfills all of your listed criterias.
are you loving the person for who he/she is? are you accepting him/her for her love and graciousness? or you love these qualities in their own rights, regardless of the human factor?

money makes the world fall in love. quite true. women love men for their money. maybe not so blatantly, but it is true that financial health and stability plays a large part in a relationship. a woman would only want the best mate who is able and willling to afford the best material comforts for her and her offsprings. quoted from Arts Central, The Science of Beauty.

men are attracted to women with hour-glass figure. the waist to hip ratio is 1:1.75. this means that these women are stong and can give birth to healthy babies. thus, waxed bikini lines and big boobs are effects of Americanization of beauty. nothing related to humen reproduction.

why are beautiful people well sought after? especially those with symmetrical facial proportions? simply, they represent good genes and so we are attracted to them. the urge of mating calls.

the last time i came up with such a list was when i was in JC 1.
Yu Ming managed to not meet any of my criterias yet i was madly love with him. i totally accepted as who he is... i didn't loved him for who i wanted him to be or imagined him to be.
he was an incorrigible smoker, a hot-headed vulgarities-spweing malaysian but with a gifted brain and a big heart. that's why he could fluke through A-levels with Aces... hah!*sour grapes*

but i must admit that we must establish a certain list with certain set criterias in seeking for the other half. i am speaking from experience. without a list, we would very likely end up with a bad choice coz we didn't have anything objective in mind right from the start. we would not look for specific desirable traits in the person, and so, the relationship would generically not turn out the way we want it to be. thus, be VERY selective in the process.

but also, character traits and personalities are not everything. people should not be judged on that though that forms a large part of the first impression. we should also look at the person's ambitions, pay high attention to their train of thoughts, to their values etc. get to know the person's friends and family before even getting together. don't date people who work in areas you're unfamiliar with or have no clue about. that would allow them toc heat behind your back.

i am nostalgic for the sweet days of the past. we were innocent and simple. walk hand in hand in the park after school, skip class to watch movie in uniform. hanky panky at the void deck and laugh. run in the rain after the bus. chat on phone late at nite. pass cute notes in class. roses during valentine's day is a must! such is youth. it is pure and naive.

now we have to think much about what people are scheming against us, would our other half cheat behind our backs, are they telling us the truth etc etc. many people can tell lies or plot our downfalls without us even realizing. are these friends / classmates sincere or just merely taking advantage of you? are they bitching behind your back?
welcome to the real world. it is evil and dark.

i am cynical about this world. about growing up. the society at large is disappointing.
it is akin to a wild jungle, kill or be killed.
why can't the world be a brighter place? love and be loved. give and be given.
why must there be people who hurt you, betray you, take advantage of you?
stab you so deeply that you lose faith in human kind.

even about my current relationship, i am happy but still wary. skeptical of people.
that's human. bitten till near death and they would not trust easily again.
(joshua, i am not directing this at you. this is just a reflection about human at large)

my list for the ideal partner? here goes... (1st half only!)

1. he must be financially independent and sound. liquid asset worth of 600 000 minimum in bank. stock options and material assets not counted. car or not also doesn't matter. one credit card is enough. maximum two.

2. he must be a well educated, articulate professional. aka articulate degree holder with a decent job. global outlook scores points!

3. he must be good looking. taller than me! preferably 175-180cm. sharp nose. healthy complexion. he mustn't smoke. must be free of hereditary or chronic illnesses. trust me, i'll send that guy for a health screening test! family background will be vet as well.

4. share similar interests: a love for sports and adventure, wine-dine and the performing arts. but he has passion and keen interests in other activities of his own, i'll support him too!

5. he MUST be Christian / Catholic. live his life by the Holy Scriptures. kind hearted in words and deeds. determined. diligent. respctful towards the Church and his elders. honest. loving. responsible.

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i didn't say that i'm not materialistic. i love Gucci and Louis Vuitton bags and coats.

i love driving a Benz C-240. i want to doll myself up with Channel cosmetics and Estee Lauder skincare. i enjoy wearing clothes from Armani and Diesel.

i am materialistic and realistic at the same time. i want the best life can offer.

posted by Veen @ 17:00